Showing posts with label Psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Psychology. Show all posts
"The difference in people is their standards. PERIOD!"
"We all get what we tolerate." - Tony Robbins
My Declaration of Self-Esteem
I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.
Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone
chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my
voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.
Watch What You Say: The Power Of The Spoken Word
By Claire Dorotik
Recently, at the start line of a 100-mile race (Ancient Oaks 100), I was once again reminded of the power of the spoken word when a runner who was attempting to finish a 100-mile race for the third time said to myself and my fiance, "you gotta not let me quit - I know I'm gonna quit in the wee hours of the morning." My first though was, 'If you say you will quit, it is already a given.' Of course I didn't say these words to her, but the truth is, once we speak something, especially to ourselves, we set in motion a process that seeks to complete that statement.
What
I knew would begin to happen to this runner, as happens to many first
time 100-milers, is that she would begin to struggle physically — as we
all do in a 100-mile race — and then she would begin to develop a host
of reasons as to why quitting would be the right thing to do. See, once
we say to ourselves that we are going to do something — and express an
intention to do it — we want to justify our decision. Much like buying a
car and then filtering out all of the bad reports that car might have
received because you don’t want to consider that you might have made a
mistake. Instead, you pay more attention to the reports that rate your
car favorably. In this way, filtering helps us make sense of our
decisions, leaving us to feel that we have made the best decisions.
The
problem is, when it comes to a 100-mile race, nothing — and I mean
nothing — is more important than the thoughts that are going through
your head. There will always be pain, and sometimes a significant amount
of it, that makes you want to quit. If you focus on the pain, you can
always find a reason to quit. In order to finish, you have to train your
thoughts to only consider one outcome — and that is that you will finish the race.
Once
you decide to allow yourself to think about finishing and filter out any
thoughts that you will not, the process of justifying that experience
will begin, and you develop reasons of why finishing — and pushing
through the pain — is the right decision.
And
when it comes to ultra marathons, I have never – and I mean never –
heard anyone say that they were glad they didn’t finish. Instead, as we
age, it is typically the things we don’t accomplish that we tend to
regret more than the ones that we did.
So
next time you attempt a challenging race, run, or experience of any
kind, watch what you say, and if you can train yourself to only think,
speak about, and consider the outcome you want, that is the outcome that
you will get.
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Originally published at: www.RunSouthFlorida.com
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